Sex and the Good Life are
Just a Phone Call Away
September 19, 1996
Richard Brian McCarty
In the process of moving to Donalds, SC, I have lost the use of home telephone
service while I stay in Columbia, SC, to finish the move. I am shocked to see how much I
rely upon the telephone. There is a sense of isolation without it. It is a great tool to
link me to the world. But, maybe the phone is not as great as I think it is for people. I
recently learned one of the fastest growing businesses in the United States is psychic and
sex phone call services.
If you watch any television, you will see the ads. There is some old movie or
television star, whose career is shot, who sings the praises of the psychic phone service
that has given him his first paycheck in ten years. Or, there is the sexy lady who wants
to share her innermost secrets with you. And, there is Dionne Warwick and her friends, who
promise to lead you to the good life for $3.99 per minute. ( If Dionne's friends are so
great, why don't they give her a song to sing to top the charts? )
What really gets me about those psychic ad wars are the ads that claim that a
psychic phone service is certified. Have you ever wondered who certifies them? I picture a
fat bearded guy named Charlie. He listens to the would be psychics on the phone. If they
have an attractive voice, and the talent to keep people on the phone for ten minutes, then
he issues his all-important certification. Afterwards, Charlie lights up another cigar and
comes up with the brillant idea of making the first twelve seconds of a call free.
Then there are the sex lines. Oh, on television, they don't actually say their
lines are for sex calls, but they imply it. The industry gets most of its business from
ads placed in mens' sex magazines. The ads claim the phone call will be as good as any sex
the caller has ever had. ( I plead the Fifth on how I know what the ads say. I will not
discuss the matter. )
I think that the ads are rather clever. I must admit with my legal training, I
think an attorney may have created the ad line. Someone who is relying upon men's
magazines to satisfy their desires for female companionship probably has not had much sex.
Further, if some guy calls on a phone to get sexually satisfied, chances are he has never
had sex. Thus, he can't sue, or complain to various government agencies over false
advertising. The phone call was as good as any sex he has ever had.
Also, let's think about how smart the guy is. The average price of a sex call
is at $3.99 a minute. Now, let's say the phone tryst lasts thirty minutes. That is nearly
$120. Maybe the Democrats are right, Americans may not know how to spend their own money.
Joe Lonely could have gotten the real thing for less down town if he is that hell-bent on
paying for sexual services.
Seriously, before you think I am advocating procuring hookers for sexual
trysts, the rise in psychic and sexual phone services shows the American culture is
declining and that we are becoming a nation of laziness.
Want to know the future? Don't put faith in God and work hard, just call
Dionne. Need sex? Don't work on a real relationship with someone, just call and fantasize
about it. And, we wonder what is wrong with America.
Those phone lines would have been jokes just twenty years ago. People would
have laughed at the notion of spending millions as a nation to have glorified circus
fortune tellers map the future over the phone. And, who would have imagined that the
" macho " men who bought men's magazines would pay millions to have someone ( no
guarantee those folks are real women, you know ), to do phone sex with them? As Barry
Goldwater often said, " What in the Hell is going on? "
I think I have the answer. There are several factors at work. The counter
culture movement of the sixties is now in power not only in the White House, but in most
of the media. Old taboos are no longer taboo. The traditional religions of Christrianity,
Judaism, and even Islam, in America are being questioned or mixed with the psychic powers
of the individual. Even the First Lady of the United States participated in such nonsense.
I learned first hand about it. In college, a more insecure part of my life, I
hung around folks who dabbled in Ouija boards. It was enticing at first to go to a party
and to be entertained by the board and the people using it. But, it pulls one away from
God, and crushes the self-esteem. I will not go as far as to say the Devil is behind it
all; but I will say it leads people to go down a dangerous road of illogic and misguided
faith. Like the ouija board, the phone lines entice those folks who are insecure and
questioning to come to them for the answers.
That brings about the second factor at work--the feeding by the phone lines off
insecurity. The people calling the lines are insecure if they are making serious calls.
They have problems they can not get out of, or they are lonely for companionship. So,
instead of facing the problems head on, they call the psychic. And, if they are lonley,
the call to the sex line replaces the steps of meeting people and building a relationship.
After the first few calls, they are hooked. And, good ole Charlie makes an easy buck.
But, the callers do make the calls, and that is because of a third factor I
believe is growing in America. That is, the growth of not doing real things. Perhaps it is
laziness or the mishandling of technology, but it is happening. We have become a nation of
observers who don't participate in life. I am guilty, and so are many of you. Oh, maybe we
don't call the lines, but we watch television instead of read, watch sports on television
instead of going to the event and being a part of it as either a participant or cheering
fan, and we rely upon others to interpret the issues of importance for us and then mimic
their thoughts. We have all the modern wonders of communication, but it seems individuals
grow more and more isolated from real moments and real life. No wonder the phone line
services are flourishing.
Now, I believe in the free market system. If those phone line folks can make a
buck, then good for them. However, a free market system reflects the culture of a society
by the goods the society demands. The growing market for the phone psychic and sex lines
serves as a signal the culture of America is in need of leaders who emphasize real life
and live real lives. Lives that are filled with real magic moments sparked by lives full
of traditional values.
Then, the market for the phone lines would be gone, the nation would be full of
more fulfilled people, and good ole Charlie would have to find a real way to make a buck.
Richard Brian McCarty has worked on several political campaigns of conservatives. He
holds a Juris Doctor from the University of South Carolina and a BS degree from Lander
University. An experienced writer, McCarty's columns are written from a distinctly
Southern point of view. He is sometimes Southern, sometimes conservative, sometimes
humorous, and sometimes all three.
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Sex and the Good Life are
Just a Phone Call Away
September 19, 1996
Richard Brian McCarty
In the process of moving to Donalds, SC, I have lost the use of home telephone
service while I stay in Columbia, SC, to finish the move. I am shocked to see how much I
rely upon the telephone. There is a sense of isolation without it. It is a great tool to
link me to the world. But, maybe the phone is not as great as I think it is for people. I
recently learned one of the fastest growing businesses in the United States is psychic and
sex phone call services.
If you watch any television, you will see the ads. There is some old movie or
television star, whose career is shot, who sings the praises of the psychic phone service
that has given him his first paycheck in ten years. Or, there is the sexy lady who wants
to share her innermost secrets with you. And, there is Dionne Warwick and her friends, who
promise to lead you to the good life for $3.99 per minute. ( If Dionne's friends are so
great, why don't they give her a song to sing to top the charts? )
What really gets me about those psychic ad wars are the ads that claim that a
psychic phone service is certified. Have you ever wondered who certifies them? I picture a
fat bearded guy named Charlie. He listens to the would be psychics on the phone. If they
have an attractive voice, and the talent to keep people on the phone for ten minutes, then
he issues his all-important certification. Afterwards, Charlie lights up another cigar and
comes up with the brillant idea of making the first twelve seconds of a call free.
Then there are the sex lines. Oh, on television, they don't actually say their
lines are for sex calls, but they imply it. The industry gets most of its business from
ads placed in mens' sex magazines. The ads claim the phone call will be as good as any sex
the caller has ever had. ( I plead the Fifth on how I know what the ads say. I will not
discuss the matter. )
I think that the ads are rather clever. I must admit with my legal training, I
think an attorney may have created the ad line. Someone who is relying upon men's
magazines to satisfy their desires for female companionship probably has not had much sex.
Further, if some guy calls on a phone to get sexually satisfied, chances are he has never
had sex. Thus, he can't sue, or complain to various government agencies over false
advertising. The phone call was as good as any sex he has ever had.
Also, let's think about how smart the guy is. The average price of a sex call
is at $3.99 a minute. Now, let's say the phone tryst lasts thirty minutes. That is nearly
$120. Maybe the Democrats are right, Americans may not know how to spend their own money.
Joe Lonely could have gotten the real thing for less down town if he is that hell-bent on
paying for sexual services.
Seriously, before you think I am advocating procuring hookers for sexual
trysts, the rise in psychic and sexual phone services shows the American culture is
declining and that we are becoming a nation of laziness.
Want to know the future? Don't put faith in God and work hard, just call
Dionne. Need sex? Don't work on a real relationship with someone, just call and fantasize
about it. And, we wonder what is wrong with America.
Those phone lines would have been jokes just twenty years ago. People would
have laughed at the notion of spending millions as a nation to have glorified circus
fortune tellers map the future over the phone. And, who would have imagined that the
" macho " men who bought men's magazines would pay millions to have someone ( no
guarantee those folks are real women, you know ), to do phone sex with them? As Barry
Goldwater often said, " What in the Hell is going on? "
I think I have the answer. There are several factors at work. The counter
culture movement of the sixties is now in power not only in the White House, but in most
of the media. Old taboos are no longer taboo. The traditional religions of Christrianity,
Judaism, and even Islam, in America are being questioned or mixed with the psychic powers
of the individual. Even the First Lady of the United States participated in such nonsense.
I learned first hand about it. In college, a more insecure part of my life, I
hung around folks who dabbled in Ouija boards. It was enticing at first to go to a party
and to be entertained by the board and the people using it. But, it pulls one away from
God, and crushes the self-esteem. I will not go as far as to say the Devil is behind it
all; but I will say it leads people to go down a dangerous road of illogic and misguided
faith. Like the ouija board, the phone lines entice those folks who are insecure and
questioning to come to them for the answers.
That brings about the second factor at work--the feeding by the phone lines off
insecurity. The people calling the lines are insecure if they are making serious calls.
They have problems they can not get out of, or they are lonely for companionship. So,
instead of facing the problems head on, they call the psychic. And, if they are lonley,
the call to the sex line replaces the steps of meeting people and building a relationship.
After the first few calls, they are hooked. And, good ole Charlie makes an easy buck.
But, the callers do make the calls, and that is because of a third factor I
believe is growing in America. That is, the growth of not doing real things. Perhaps it is
laziness or the mishandling of technology, but it is happening. We have become a nation of
observers who don't participate in life. I am guilty, and so are many of you. Oh, maybe we
don't call the lines, but we watch television instead of read, watch sports on television
instead of going to the event and being a part of it as either a participant or cheering
fan, and we rely upon others to interpret the issues of importance for us and then mimic
their thoughts. We have all the modern wonders of communication, but it seems individuals
grow more and more isolated from real moments and real life. No wonder the phone line
services are flourishing.
Now, I believe in the free market system. If those phone line folks can make a
buck, then good for them. However, a free market system reflects the culture of a society
by the goods the society demands. The growing market for the phone psychic and sex lines
serves as a signal the culture of America is in need of leaders who emphasize real life
and live real lives. Lives that are filled with real magic moments sparked by lives full
of traditional values.
Then, the market for the phone lines would be gone, the nation would be full of
more fulfilled people, and good ole Charlie would have to find a real way to make a buck.
Richard Brian McCarty has worked on several political campaigns of conservatives. He
holds a Juris Doctor from the University of South Carolina and a BS degree from Lander
University. An experienced writer, McCarty's columns are written from a distinctly
Southern point of view. He is sometimes Southern, sometimes conservative, sometimes
humorous, and sometimes all three.
Back to Guest Articles Page
|